A Satirical Website About Hair, Helmets, and Feelings
We help poor hobos who hide their hair with HELMETS. Get help now! (Emotionally).
We help poor hobos who hide their hair with HELMETS. Get help now! (Emotionally).

At Squirrels Are Sad, our dream is to pretend to provide exceptional hair styling services while actually doing nothing and without acknowledging the existence of hair. We believe helmets are a lifestyle choice, not a solution, and squirrels deserve emotional support.

Meet Our CEO
Mr. Acorn J. Ruxxx
Mr. Acorn Ruxxx was born under a park bench during a period of light rain. He began his career by hiding snacks and watching leaves fall.
No hair services are offered. No helmets are sold. No squirrels are qualified.
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.